Either my scale is broken or I'm about to break it.

     This morning the scale did not move from yesterday. So does that basically mean I wasted a day fasting? What did I do wrong? Is it because I skipped the gym? I expected to be at my 2nd goal weight by now.

this is about to be me....
Anyways I was so dissatisfied with my weight I decided to fast during the day and eat tonight on account of it was my mommy's birthday and its a tradition to have dinner together on the family members birthday. Luckily she let me cook. So I cooked chicken breast with parsley and some seasoning and black pepper and made a salad with black olives, cabbage, cherry tomatoes and feta cheese(my weakness). It made a nice dinner. My mother originally wanted to go to hooters which is a restaurant with lots of fried food and waitresses walking around in barley any clothes at all. So while I'm getting fat I have to look at the skinny girls. I hate that place.

I don't know who this is but I didn't want to post any pictures of my skinny minny friends that work here because I want to protect them and me. But this is the uniform and they serve fried food. They obviously don't eat there.

     Anyways my sister is coming into town tonight I am so excited she has an e.d. too. She is my oldest sister. I have one more that's older than me and a younger brother. Anyways this sister, LS is a mia veteran. She has had an eating disorder for as long as I can remember once I remember she was fat then she got really skinny fast. She is my hero. I love her so much. I remember how proud I felt when she complimented me at 115lbs (52.16kgs) and after that compliment I yearned for more. But of course I loved all the compliments I was receiving. So I tried harder and harder. She obviously became worried when I got down to 99lbs (44.91kgs) and started to understand what I was going through because she herself was going through it too. No one should wish this type of life on someone or should ever bare to see someone go through this. Especially a sister, once she told me she felt responsible for my e.d. I think there are a lot of things that have triggered it. I wish I couldn't say she was one of them but she sort of is. My mother is too though.

  I am studied up for this test and if I make anything less then a B+ I will be VERY pissed. Tomorrow is the start of a 2-3 day fast. I will get down to my goal weight!!! I am so determined. Oh and I've been going to starbucks everyday this week that they know my order. So today when she asked if it was the same thing I said no and changed it up even though the thing I ordered has that fattening whip cream. I just didn't want to be defined as predictable. So I saw the first thing on the list and ordered. I guess this makes me pathetic. Is it bad to want to be unique. I know I'm unique but I want others to see it too. In my sociology book it says no 2 people are alike. It makes me feel a lot better.

xoxoxox

Oh and p.s. This is my favorite part in step brothers idk why I think its so funny. I just die laughing everytime I watch it.

"this clown has no penis" PAHAHHAAHAHHA
Goodnight :)