About Me

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My name isn't important, I am here to vent, once a full time ana but now back to square one. I started to recover after my victory of 99. Recovering on my own which is never recommended, I wanted to rid myself of this disease and I did(or at least I thought i did). I loved food, I ate and ate. I loved the way my pallet would be able to taste ingredients so well. I became one of those people who was always D.T.E (down to eat). Until I started to notice more and more weight being put on. I stepped on the scale at my friends house, ( my mother hid the scale from me) and there it was a number I never heard of a whopping 183. I immediately hated myself. Now I'm back to my old ways, habits. I used to have a blog under the name Fading Figure.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

3-4 day fast.

     So it has been a very long time since I fully completed a 5 day fast. I'm taking it easy now. 3-4 day fast seems easy and do-able. Of course I say this now but who knows how I will feel at the time. This morning I was 164 lbs (74.39kgs) which isn't the best but I will take it. I haven't eaten totally bad today but still I will be more satisfied with that empty stomach, light headed feeling. I live for it.
   
     Today while I was eating a subway sandwich with my best friend K she looks at me and says " You know when you starve yourself your body goes into panic and stores food?" Annoyed I look at her and say "yes K I know, I know my risk do you see me eating this sandwich? Am I fucking not eating right now? Obviously I am. Do I throw it in your face that your addicted to sex?"-She got my point. I'm tired of these little "did you know" facts. I already know them. Ughh I long for that feeling of control that I will have tomorrow. The control I have over myself over my stomach, I can't wait the first stomach growl-it is always the best. Its a bitter sweet moment really. Man I sound crazy. haha
  
     Anyways I promise by tuesday I will have my story up and my goal weights and all that good stuff. This weekend just went by so fast. Spring break will be here in a week I hope to be at least 155lbs (70.31kgs) when I get there. I won't be able to work out the whole time there because K and I are getting a hotel with 3 other boys. Doing crunches every night in front of guys kind of makes me feel uneasy.

     Off to bed with me, I have a big day tomorrow :). Eager beaver .
xoxoxo




OH AND P.S: Nessa I miss you, your blog and your poop talks. I always appreciated the talks about poop. <3
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4 comments:

  1. ~Nessa~March 7, 2011 at 6:01 AM

    Don't miss me... I'm right here! ---> http://wordsfromanaspiringhuman.blogspot.com/

    :D And I'm reading you already ;)
    Have a great day, and a great fast!!
    XOXO
    Nessa

    ReplyDelete
  2. TaiMarch 7, 2011 at 6:14 AM

    I'm glad you said something and that she understood. It's sweet that she wants to help but that is the wrong way to go about it. I love that stomach growling feel too, makes me feel alive. By spring break is coming up as well, so excited to take a break from school. If you use an extra towel or something you can always do crunches and exercises in the bathroom when no one is around. Also, often hotels have gyms for guests to use.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HeatherMarch 7, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    Good luck with your fast, I think I'll join you.
    I have a month until spring break but I am so far from my goal weight it's unreal.
    Hopefully K will stop hassling you, well done for saying what you did.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  4. ~Nessa~March 7, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    It totally is a new blog. Weird I know. I should have gone with a completely new URL, but alas, instead I removed the word "being" from the end, and bada-bing. New blog. Not attached to my real name, and less easy for future employers and students to find!

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