So I went to the trainer for my free training session with my friend K (the stripper) and what do you know. He wants to weigh me and take my body fat % in the middle of the gym. Great I thought to myself now this cute trainer and the rest of the gym can know how
FAT I really am. I assumed my body fat % to be around 60 % and a "Healthy" percentage for woman is 24% well mine wasn't as bad as I thought it was 36.2%. Not good but not as bad as I assumed. K got 29% she doesn't even try and she eats, a lot. Bitch. Haha, Something that really pissed me off was when K asked the trainer what exactly does not eating and working out do. She knows DAMN well what it does. She and my family are the only ones who know about my e.d. K does things like this all the time to just leave a reminder for me here and there that this is not healthy. I've lived with this almost my whole life. I know its not healthy you don't think I see the effects it has on my body, my hair falls out, I get weak blah blah blah.
I FUCKING ALREADY KNOW. I do not need any reminders. I don't make remarks here and there
is it healthy to be addicted to sex. No I don't do it because I know she doesn't like to talk about it so I leave it alone. UGH vent finished. No more angry typing I promise ha.
Anyways I haven't been fasting very much lately because I have been sick and although it is no excuse, I just don't have enough energy to try and control anything so I've been counting calories and burning more than I eat. Somehow when it comes to the gym I have enough energy. I'm becoming obsessed with the gym, and I love it. Somehow becoming more and more obsessed with the gym is making my one-sided feelings for J fade. He still hasn't talked to me but everyday I hope he does. Just so I can reject him. Its evil yes I know but somehow this will be the closure I need. No sex needed.
This weekend I plan to edit my blog see if I can't get my old blogs over here. And I decided to become brave and tell my story. I hope no one judges me but I will get to this all weekend long. Oh and these past few days my weight has stayed at 165lbs (74kgs) Subract 8 lbs for my head..thank you very much! Lol just kidding. This weight sucks I want to be 155 by the time I leave. In 1 week and 3 days. In order to be that I will need to do some serious fasting. I just need to get better.
Ooooh Its raining here. I love the rain, it makes me sleepy and cuddly. Okay I commented some blogs today but I need to read the rest tomorrow.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Why must they weigh and take measurements in from of everyone? That sounds so embarrassing, don't they have a room in the back or something? I hate it when people talk about how 'unhealthy it is'. That's like constantly reminding smokers of the bad effects of cigarettes. Their not stupid, they just don't give a fuck or have decided that the pros outweigh the cons. There's no need to insult people's intelligences.
ReplyDeletemmmmm, rain sounds so nice right now....
Ah I hate that sort of stuff. Nobody would judge, I don't think. So please don't worry about that. I hope you manage the blog stuff too.
ReplyDeleteI love the photo "I have no idea what is going to happen next". It's perfect in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteI hate cute trainers, I always feel embarrassed by something.
You should fill in a comment card to get them to change where they weigh you cos that ain't cool if it's just in the middle of the gym. Right to privacy and all that jazz.
I can't wait to get back to they gym next week. It used to be my second home, I feel I've let it down! xx